Vaño Beach, Mactan Cebu

"Mangaligo ta!" "Asa man?" "Sa banyo!"

("Let's go swimming!" "Where?" "In the bathroom!")

Vaño or banyo in Cebuano means bathroom. So when I heard the conversation above, I thought I have finally heard the corniest joke on earth. Imagine my surprise when I found out there really is an actual Vaño Beach in Mactan Island, Cebu! The owners must have been either drunk when they registered their name or just had a twisted sense of humor. Hmmm. Maybe I should meet them.

Vaño Beach is a favorite destination for barkadas (group of friends) as well as families on a tight budget. The place is clean, close to the city, and most importantly inexpensive. So it was the perfect destination to celebrate one of our colleagues' birthday. (These photos are courtesy of her actually ~ thanks Christine!)

You can rent a public utility jeepney from the city or a van if you have money to spare and you'd get there fast. For food, you can just grill fish or meat at the venue. You can buy this from the public market in Mactan on your way there. You won't miss the public market. At least I don't think you would. (My sense of geography might have failed me for the first time. Oh well, I'll just go back to this blog and edit this.) While at the market don't forget the "puso" (rice cooked in woven coconut leaves shaped like a heart) And don't forget to bring water and ice! Very very important! You can get this from convenience stores like Ester's right across Mactan District Hospital.

Before arriving at the entrance, you'll first have to pay P20 per vehicle at the 1st gate. Not bad, eh? Now, a few meters ahead, the first beach to your right would be Vaño. Pay PHP300 for the cottage and it's a done deal! Go there early so you can get a cottage close to the shore.

Thing is, I don't have their phone number. But I'm sure you won't have to reserve a cottage unless you're whole neighborhood is going with you. If you really have to call them, try the yellow pages.

And the highlight of the trip? Jumping from that man-made mini cliff and getting a rush from it. That's the local version for extreme sports.

And don't worry about entertainment. Music would be provided to you, amid protests, by a couple of guitar-clad musicians who get a kick out of inserting your name in every stanza of their corny but original Cebuano song. First, they embarrass you and then they expect you to pay them for their trouble. It doesn't matter whether you liked the performance or not, you simply have to oblige them; anyway, there's a big chance everyone was entertained except you.

And if you feel that's not enough, there are a couple of videoke machines you can use for just PHP5 per song allowing you to annoy about 50 people at one time without ever having to dodge tomatoes thrown your way.

So if you want a quick getaway without draining your pockets, try Vaño Beach. The amenities definitely won't be world-class but it's one of the best places to experience Cebuano culture!